You are a sad angry little man, write a real article.

I laughed a lot.

I was almost worried the Hornet put Horoscopes into the paper. Then I saw you wrote it.

This might be the best funniest line in State Hornet History:

"You will make an unexpected trip to a far away and mysterious land. Unfortunately, you were kidnapped and will be butchered once you reach your destination. Scorpio kidneys are pure profit in the black market."

Well, I'm a sucker for satire, even the cheap heat stuff.

-Frank